Im counting down days to half marathon.

It’s so near that I can’t stop thinking, can’t stop running. I want to be the skinnest ever. Wahhha.

We did our first training today at East Coast Park, and we went 15km! Woohoo!

Im too lazy to upload photos, even if I did, it will take me another few months to touch up. It was the D&D, then the cruise, come the GE run, and the training today.

I decided, for fast viewing, please refer to facebook. Otherwise, you got to wait. )

Woohoo! I finished the race!

I can’t sleep despite feeling shaggrified. Upload after i received the pictures.

…..it’s utterly disturbing.

I packed my stuff, and going hit the gym in awhile.

I need a good run.

MISS ANDREA IS UPSET LAH!

SIGH!

Everybody’s getting married in the month of October!

Attended a ROM yesterday, followed by movie and coffee till late night. The long conversation and numerous silly jokes made us all laugh our ass off.

Im shag plusplus.

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Cycling today!

Together with my love, we head down to east coast and cycle for 2 good hours. Thigh pain, ass pain, and i hurt myself. Probably will bruise tomorrow. Dinner and ice-cream at Holland Village, and home sweet home.

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Im dying to leave town, seriously. I dont see any reason why i cant leave town. Am i going to just stay at home, and stare at the ceiling, or counsel my sister?

Patient level tumbling down and down.

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I was told that i have signs of depression. He probably not the first one who told me this. Even my Eye’s consultant thinks so. He did a 2 hours check for me, discuss and concluded it’s because of depression.

I experienced whatever they mentioned. Badbadbad.

9 out of 10 times, i lie down on the bed, thinking of something. I cant go to sleep, not thinking. I guess thats the reason for my eye bag, which weighs tonnes.

I guess, it’s probably i seldom voice out. Probably, i dont see any reason in arguing or explaining to my parents. It can probably be how i want to overcome it myself. I dont know.

My parents dont understand me, that’s for sure. They think i rebel, because i stay out late at night. Well, 90% of the time, they thinks im lying. The remaining 10% is just pure scolding and blaming.

I get annoyed, still, i keep my cool.

Well, ten thousand things running in my mind. Im trying to get out of it.

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If im going to leave town during december, am i playing rebel?

I browse through the photos, and I start deleting one by one.

Leaving no pictures, no memories.

I wonder when and how every relationship started. How they screwed up, how i screwed up, and how it ended on our own accord. The thought of it made me feel stupid, totally.

It’s just a waste of, MY time.

Well, anyway anyway, everything goes to the recycle bin. Before you can retrieve back, it’s empty.

Im back from the short getaway.

A pretty good trip for all of us. Gathering with family, eat, play, snapping away. Photos will be upload during the next entry.

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Work just piles up, plus some new task.

New task=Preceptorship. I cant believe im being assigned to be a nurse preceptor. The story behind this task, too complicated, too ridiculous.

Patience, I have none.

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2 months ago, everyone was enthusiastic about marathon. 4 going for half-marathon, 2 going for full marathon.

Today, 1 of them is consistant, 1 of them down with injury, 4 of them thinking why we made such a stupid decision.  haha

Waking up at 6am to prepare for 645am, 21km run – DREADFUL. Probably half the singaporean is still hiding under their covers, snoring away, even after you completed the race - LAGI DREADFUL.

Running is a MUST for me. I used to run 7 times with 500 crutches a week, then cut down to 4 times with 500 crutches a week, slowly degrade to 3 times with 200 crutches a week, to none today…. and i keep this consistant. *faint*

Well, i believe that we can definitely accomplish this freaky yet awesome 21km. So, smile for we set things straight by making our ka neng.

Goodnight!

A little getaway, followed by little sister birthday!

Upload pictures when im back.

BYEBYE!

Knowing that marathon is 2 1/2 months away, i dragged myself off the bed and go for a good run.

But, the thought of walking from citylink to underpass to the other end of Suntec, made me laze on the bed for another hour after breakie. :p  

My legs weighs tonnes!

I can’t run more than 3km. Crutches stop at 400, and my back’s aching. Gosh!

Now, i will spend the remaining weekend lazing around.

After a good run, we had a long conversation.

Patience, i lost all. Procrastination, i have all.

When things happened, instead of  saying, “Yes, I screwed up”, the blame goes around.

When questions being asked, instead of  saying, “I didn’t read up”, they asked for another few mins.

There are many millions of excuses we can used. We need somebody to blame, otherwise, we might be responsible to ourselves.

I procrastinate about my medical appointment, about my exercise, about everything. I procrastinate whatever you named.

My mood sinks out of a sudden.

They want the computer to be done. They want me to attend the wedding, but I probably won’t want to see people, like my cousin, who don’t show respect. My sister want to see more of me, because she felt that they don’t care about how we feel. They keep asking about my expenses and revenue. My boss wants me to guide her. I probably cant make my colleagues happy with what im doing. Doctor wants every medication, it accumulates, and they never prescript. I don’t return stock for no reason. I keep because they want. But now, I think I keep because, the cupboard is too empty. I run at a constant speed, because i want to finish my run, but my heart never stop palpitating. I run and my mind filled with thousands of things. I hide my jealousy with a joke, a smile. I keep my cool because i dont like to argue. Im always late for a reason. I want to have the perfect eyesight, i dont want my fine hair, i want to do hot yoga, i want to cure my spondylosis, i want a stronger left hand, i want many things, but sometime, somethings just stop me from doing it. The list never stop. Now, everybody wants something from me. But did anybody think about what can i give?

Everything, including the above factor, happened for a reason. I probably got to re-evaluate about myself, about things that is happening.

Now, I just want to hide under my covers.